The Summer Test Track
I drove seven-tenths of a mile to church just the other day and honestly had three close calls with other cars - whose drivers either don’t know or don’t care about the rules of the road- the especially narrow busy streets once meant for horse and carts-sheep and goats. I have always prided myself on being calm and even tempered but something about sitting behind the wheel brings out a bit of the worst in me. Not so much the Jekyll and Hyde of the harbor- but just an out of body experience and transmutation into a bit of an angry traffic aficionado. I have read that not bottling up your emotions and letting off steam can help you reap a plethora of health benefits – but I’m not sure why people, including myself, feel so inclined to do so when behind the wheel of their cars. Maybe it’s because of the two thousand pounds of steel and aluminum and the responsive gas pedal-that come between you and your perceived adversary.
I remember once in college driving to a Music Therapy conference in Washington DC- an older friend had volunteered to drive and I was along for the ride. I remember so distinctly coming up to a major toll booth with everyone trying aggressively to get into their lane first. A number of cars-not knowing what lane to choose- swerved and cut her off – and she so patiently responded – “that’s OK, sometimes I make mistakes too.” Not an angry diatribe, not a string of curse words or harsh statements of traffic entitlement- just calmly and sweetly remembering that she too makes mistakes. She too is sometimes in a place where the rules of the road may be foreign and unfamiliar.
In this town of many visitors and few parking places- this place of tiny roads and large vehicles we have been given the truest test track – a proving ground for patience, tolerance and understanding. Each day we get behind the wheel we are given the opportunity to gather all of our chutzpah, our impudence and our personal, self-appointed traffic authority and transform it into a vision of our most noble and loving selves. We can practice deep breathing, extend blessing and transmute to our highest nature. I know, I know -easier said than done.
We have all heard nightmare accounts of road rage extinguishing the sanctity of human life- how people take traffic violations and offenses to a life and death extreme- so hard to imagine, but a real call for caution and containment. For myself, I try to park a bit outside of town and walk a block or two in. I find myself shopping at off hours when the roads are a bit quieter and I often retreat to the peace of my backyard. There is so much to love about summer – I don’t want to become a person who dislikes it due to its external challenges. Sometimes it just takes some tweaking of time and place and occasion-a personal road map to surviving summer in the Hamptons-or perhaps just anywhere.
So, for my own personal summer mantra, I try to remember -not only my friend’s words- but also her heart, “that’s OK, I make mistakes sometimes too”!