The Winner Takes it All
Figure skater and Olympian Amber Glenn just cried into her hands with millions watching. Hours, days, months, years of dedication, practice, sacrifice-all tied into a half of a rotation -a second in time- a skate blade a fraction of an inch or two to the left or right.
“I lost focus.”
“I wasn’t feeling good.”
“I did the hard stuff so I was just in shock.”
“I wanted to enjoy today and unfortunately I didn’t get to.”
Those were her words as the newscaster tried to capture her tangible devastation as close to the very moment as possible-of course they always seem to be right there to catch it-and we’re all right there to watch it unfold. But could you feel it? Could you feel her pain and disappointment? Oh yes, you might say, but that’s what they sign up for – ‘the thrill of victory the agony of defeat.’
I used to be a dedicated Olympic viewer-maybe back when it was the only thing on TV or maybe when it didn’t hurt so much to watch another human’s disappointment and pain. What is the world expecting from these young athletes-what are we setting them up for?’ OK, now you’re thinking I’m one of those ‘give everyone a trophy’ people-and maybe I am-maybe I have always been. Do beauty and skill and talent and prowess always need to encounter a medal- do countries competing for gold lead to world peace. Maybe. Maybe not.
Why have we created a world of good, better, best? I like to join in on the ‘Ubuntu’ spirit- ‘I am because we are.’ Maybe you have heard that story-that philosophy ….
At its heart, Ubuntu is often summed up as:
“I am because we are.”
But it’s richer than a slogan. Ubuntu says:
• A person becomes fully human through relationship
• Dignity is not earned — it is recognized in one another
• My well-being is bound up with yours
• Community is not optional; it’s essential
There is a story often told about children in an African village — whether it happened exactly this way or not, it’s like a parable- it tells a truth worth listening to…”
A short version of the story as it’s commonly told……
An anthropologist places a basket of candy near a tree and lines up children some distance away.
They’re told: “When I say go, whoever gets there first gets all the candy.”
Instead of racing against one another, the children hold hands, run together, reach the basket together — and then share the candy.
When asked why, one child replies:
“Ubuntu. How can one of us be happy if the others are sad?”
A double loop instead of a triple loop – an unforgiving scoring system that seems based on perfection rather than art or spirit or being human, or backstory - what obstacles they may have overcome-their heart-the effort -or anything for that matter.
Oh, I know that’s competition-that’s the way it goes-the Olympic Motto- “Faster, Higher, Stronger – Together”-or from ABC’s Wide World of Sports- "the thrill of victory…and the agony of defeat.” Figure skating has an extremely rigorous scoring system which was revamped after 2002 to remove human bias, and as of 2026, AI technology ("digital twin") is used to measure jump rotation, height, and airtime to assist human judges. I wondered if watching the overall gestalt of the performance might not be enough- the beauty, the artistry and how it moves your spirit. Does something so beautiful need such rigorous judgement?
I guess many see it as good, healthy TV-but it’s also painful-her tears were painful- in the same 2026 Milano Cortina Winter Olympics, Canadian speed skater Laurent Dubreuil lost the men's 500m to American Jordan Stolz by roughly half a second – hard to imagine that that is even a discernable measure of time.
Yes, it’s amazing to watch what the human body is capable of-I’m sure these young athletes have dedicated years of their lives to conditioning and practice. We’re all with them and behind them in their thrill of victory-but the agony of defeat in front of millions is nothing but painful.
We remember Simon Biles during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics suffering from a case of ‘Twisties”. Though it wasn’t considered “nerves” in the everyday sense, it was very real psychological and physical safety issue that made continuing risky. The world was able to see that Biles’ choice to step back was courageous and setting perhaps a new precedent in how we view and talk about mental health in athletics. Her decision sparked global conversation about mental health for these young athletes, the cost of such pressure, and their well-being at these top-level events.
For me I can say I appreciate the artistry, the athleticism, the nature of ‘be all that you can be’- but in my heart I wonder if the thrill is indeed worth the agony. How many mornings did Amber lace up her skates at 5 am before school-how many birthday parties did she miss-how many tears did her pillow catch last night? Watching Amber grasp at her necklaces, cry into her hands and witness the visceral pain of that tiny misstep - watching her slide from the hope of gold to last place - 13th -in that event was earth shattering. So, Iike any sensitive soul I had to turn the channel to HGTV – on ‘House Hunters’ just about everyone finds the new house they dream of!
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