The Perfect Gift

I’ve been searching for a special gift for a dear friend. You know what special gifts are- the ones that make you think of the person who gave them to you each time you pick them up – and that spark of memory and connection can endure for years and years. The meaning behind the gift -the friendship-the thoughtfulness - lingers long after the giving. I have always believed that that is the idea behind gifts anyway- not just the momentary ‘wow’ -not just the glow of a shiny pin, or the use of that perfect pot holder- but the lasting thank you. Thank you for thinking of me, thank you for remembering me, thank you for being part of my life. Sometimes folks put much time and effort into selecting the perfect gift – other times we cut to the quick with a gift card- often welcome but not necessarily lasting.

Once, when I was about five, my grandfather came over on my sister’s birthday with a wrapped gift for me – that’s right, ME! What a surprise that was in a life of few trimmings. It was a baton- a shiny new baton. We had learned some twirling for our kindergarten graduation and here he was gifting me with this treasure. I have saved that baton now for over 60 years and think of him each time I come across it. There is the carved swan that sits on my mantle, the beautiful set of placemats and napkins, the books by my bed side, special mugs, the brooch from someone who knows I love hummingbirds. And each time I see them, each time I pick them up to wear, or use or dust around -that person is with me! And there’s also that very special feeling, when you know you’ve chosen that perfect gift for someone else.

Words are gifts as well – taking the time to add a bit extra to that birthday or holiday card. To me, genuine words are often the best gift at all- I always feel inspired to put that five-dollar greeting card to proper use by adding more than just ‘Love, Nancy’. Taking a few extra moments to let that person know what they mean to you is huge! Then greeting cards too, become gifts and treasures.

Sometimes we gift friends and family members with experiences that we hope leave lasting memories- things that don’t add bulk to our storage space- a concert, a show, a dinner out. And we never ever look a gift horse in its muzzle-kind and honest gift receiving is an art as well. Never, ever put those slippers back in the box and tell the gift giver you don’t need them-I believe you need to value the gift-givers time and kindness in what they may have felt would be the perfect gift. Certainly, if needed, you can repurpose them when the gift giver is out of sight. I do believe there is an art and a heart space engaged in both giving and receiving gifts. Your accolades affirming their thoughtfulness, time and kindness.

Of course, things are not the only bearers of value in our lives-but they do maintain a place. I am not one who holds on to too much, I do feel peace in a clear environment- but some things have to remain as vestiges of meaning and reminders of the life we’ve lived. Clearing clutter can be life-altering, but letting go of meaning can be as well.