The Great Unknown

A friend once asked if I was afraid to die-I thought for a minute and said that I wasn’t afraid to die, I just didn’t want to. No one likes to talk about aging, but aside from dying there is little we can do to avoid it. Many practices encourage 20 minutes of contemplation on the subject each day-we see ‘Death Cafes’ pop up here and there where people are invited in to share their fears, ideas and worries. Within that contemplation the hope is that the mere thought of dying encourages us to grab hold of life – encourages us to live more fully-and perhaps even asks us to prepare. I know you’re probably ready to ‘x out’ of this blog- it is a subject that we like to avoid at all cost-and move onto living-but the hope is that we embrace life more fully when we face the alternative.

There was a time that life itself was thought of as a bell curve - you grow-you reach your summit and then all you have to look forward to is the steady slope downhill.

But I like to look at life as a staircase that you keep going, and growing until

that last breath. That awareness, insight, wisdom and experience follow us and multiple with each step until we reach the landing or the gates or some element of the great unknown.

I am looking at each element of life now with greater wonder and awe. I am sorting through old photos and revisiting cherished memories-and I hereby pledge to get out and experience more of life. Little health issues crop up-doctor appointments dot my calendar but thankfully nothing of great concern-but that doesn’t mean I can avoid the aging process and it doesn’t mean that I can’t live more fully or prepare more practically.

There are little things that I am doing to prepare for old age- I pray of course, I try to live honestly and earnestly, I try to let people know how I feel about them, send a hand written note now and then and set some priorities that I may have avoided. Of course, I keep moving and walking-I try to eat healthy but not let that steer me away from dessert now and then, especially if it involves chocolate.

I have purchased a wash-basket with two one-handed easy to hold handles - so when I bring my laundry down or up the stairs, I have one hand free for the handrail. I try to count the steps and keep my attention on the climb rather than be distracted and misstep.

When I park at King Kullen, or TJ Maxx or even on Main Street I look up at the sign and see what letter in their signage delineates the row that I am parked in- and make a mental note - ‘Oh, I’m out from the ‘K’ or ‘oh, I’m parked in front of the ‘Wharf Shop’ just so I’m not one of those folks wearily trying to find their car in the parking lot.

I’ve been looking at our landscaping and trying to find alternative routes into our house that don’t require an 11-step climb-that is taking some finagling. Also, will we one day need a more accessible shower? As we age, how can our house be the safest and most welcoming place to call home.

I’m trying to organize and eliminate things I don’t use or don’t need. Lighten my load in life-but not to the point of excluding things that remind me of the life I’ve lived and continue to live-I don’t believe in dismantling life before it’s over. There are times that I believe the minimalist approach strips away some of life’s very important padding-the who I am and where I’ve been.

In the meantime, I want to spend more time doing the things I love-not just sitting in front of the next Netflix series watching the sands drain from the hour glass. Listening to music, playing the guitar, writing, catching the sunsets and sunrises, preparing my favorite foods, listening to the birds-it’s not too late to learn a new language or maybe even try my hand at watercolor.

I don’t want it to be a dash to the finish line but rather a slow saunter where I can be aware of the gift and beauty of each day, each moment, each breath. As the holidays are upon us my hope is to make lasting memories, cherish the sights and sounds and smells of the season- and live fully into this experience of being human. If no one knows the day or the hour we might as well buckle our seatbelts and enjoy the ride. Wishing you all a wonderful season of light ahead. ❤️🕯️