Cats or Dogs

I may have told you the story of when I was babysitting in town. Once my young charge had fallen asleep, I noticed an alarming sound coming from the household cat. I had never heard this sound before and was sure that the furry creature was suffering from respiratory distress. I sat vigil close by anxiously awaiting the parent’s return so I could address this dire situation. As they meandered in the door, I quickly drew their attention to the feline in the room.

“Something is wrong with Max- his breathing is labored.” I stammered.

Both parents drew near for a close listen-then they looked at each other and laughed a bit – leaving me out of the joke almost completely.

“He’s purring!” they chuckled.

Purring! Can you believe it? I had never heard a cat purr before.

Growing up we were a household of dog lovers and had never invited a cat in. I think my father held a dislike of the little critters-and made sure he passed that along to his kin.

In those days of growing up-our dogs didn’t have jackets, sweaters, boots or personalized water bowls. They just were basically out and about exploring the neighborhood, collecting ticks and coming home in time for dinner. We didn’t love them any less-it was just a different way of being part of the household. They were equally part of the family but grew up a bit more independently. I had had my share of being chased by dogs in town who shared that same freedom- and in some ways grew up with a fair amount of canine fear.

Cats on the other hand-I can barely remember a cat from my childhood but could always feel a distinction between cat-lovers and dog-lovers. Each fervent in their allegiance to their preferred species. Though some of course took to both and found room in their houses and their hearts for at least one of each.

As our daughter was growing, we thought it might be wonderful to have a hypoallergenic dog join the family for her to love. That is when we found our ‘Sneakers’ and later brought in a companion for him, ‘Bear’. Both Yorkie and Maltese mixes. Both became the loves of our lives- and along with a host of other accessories - both had matching plaid winter jackets. Feather weights at about 10 pounds they quickly became the center of our universe and gave more love than measurable-and filled our days with affection and levity. Our vet used to warn me to just love them and not be absorbed by the worry of losing them – but surely easier said than done. That is the risk of loving so completely-along with the knowledge that far more often than not-you will outlive this little spirit being who has captured your heart. And as truth plays out its hand-we lost both-and continue to carry this most painful loss with us. Oh yes, I know-“better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Years have passed- and though my heart may one day make room for the next furry friend - my daughter has had the opportunity to spend time with a cat. A cat- I thought-can she really learn to love a cat? It was surely a propensity I had not taught her or had given her the opportunity to experience. She had gone almost 30 years without attachment to a feline-but I have to say-she is smitten. Once in a while she even suggests that if she got another pet one day-it would probably be a cat! What! A conversion! Oh, of course she can learn to sort of love both-but now I sensed the conversion. A cat over a dog? I never thought I would hear it. Deep down I know she loves all critters. And now while visiting - even I can see the complexity and beauty in this graceful being. Love is adaptable - hearts can be porous and prone to staying open. And seriously love is love-and there can never be too much of that!